On what I'm really feeling right now

Just got home from our friday gimik with Asia, Von, Jen, Del and Nico.
What a fun night! We ate dinner at Sicilian Express (treated them with Sicilian Pizza).
Then our dessert was rocky road ice cream at Treats, Petron Square, Katipunan.
Von and Nico left afterwards.
So, we (Jen, Asia, Del and I) decided to stay in Bo's Katipunan for some more QTT.
At around 11:40pm, it was Jen's time to go home. But Asia, Del and I went to Sarah's after Jen left. We saw Chad then meet up with Myk.
Though we went to four different places in one night, it wasn't that tiring. I had fun. A much needed break from acads and org. :D

With all the things happening right now... With my busy schedule.... Seriously, I don't know what/how to feel about those things. I can't cry for the reason that it's not worth crying. I can't be that too happy even because I know there's still problems needed to solve before this semester comes to an end. But one thing I'm sure and this is that I'm scared.

Yes, I'm scared about a lot of things.
Thesis, of course. Who isn't?
Graduation Day. It's fast approaching and I don't know if I'll do well enough this semester to reach the grade that I needed for cl standing.
Disappointing my parents. They've sacrificed a lot for me and the least thing I wantto do is to disappoint them. I have no right to do that.
After graduation. What's next for me? Am I going to work? Take a M.A. or M.S.?
Basically... I'm scared of the future. Of the what if's.

I'm scared of losing all the hard work we've put because of the words: commitment and dedication. I can't help but to get frustrated/disappointed. I know it's my fault why things are happening right now and I'm blaming myself for it. If I knew that this things will happen, I shouldn't have done anything. It's all my fault. If people are just brave enough to tell me the wrong things I've done, sana di na umabot sa ganito. For real.

I know my mistakes. I know I disappointed you. I know I didn't reached your expectations.
I'm sorry. I really am.

I'm praying and hoping that all these will have an answer soon.
My hope is up as always.
I know we can do this. We can!
Keep thinking positive and we'll succeed!


xoxo,
_M_