Miss Understood

I'm the Queen of being Misunderstood. People misunderstood my shyness for being a snob or arrogant. I am not. There are people who equate me with negativity. The moment they see me or hear my name, all the bad things comes to their mind. I don't blame them for acting that way. It's my fault for not correcting their perception of me. I have a strong personality. I'm not the type to surrender or give up. I'm not the type to let my detractors affect my performance.

I may not seem approachable but I'm one of nicest people you'll ever meet. I think.

Post-holiday depression

I feel sad. I miss home. I'm disappointed with what's happening right now. I can't seem to move forward with my life, my career. I really want to study abroad but with my current salary minus all the bills I need to pay, saving up is a long waaaaay. If things at home were a bit OK financially, I won't be frustrated right now. I'm not mad, I just hope things were better handled so I'm not the kawawa right now. My older sibs have enjoyed the luxurious life and since I'm the youngest, I don't get to buy the things that I want and be financially secured. At this moment, I'm not entertaining the thought of getting angry just because... I want to be hopeful about my future. How will I do that? I'm not sure. Not eating lunch and just spending for my fares everyday is not enough. It feels like I'm stuck in a chapter in my life were I'm helpless with the things around. I'm starting to drown. It starting to feel heavy. I'm starting to become hopeless... just by thinking of all the things I need to do to become confident, to achieve something and be someone--it's all falling apart. I'm falling apart.

I don't want to get mad... I don't want to get mad... I DON'T WANT TO GET MAD.

Happy Holidays!

I'm back at work today from my christmas vaca. So how's everyone? Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!

About a week ago, I doubt that we'll have a happy noche buena this year but I was wrong. My mindset was changed when I went to hear a mass and the priest said "Decide if you want to be merry this Christmas". I told this to my sibs and they too decided to have a merry christmas and not worry (just for one day) about our problems.

My older brother and I are the ones in charge of cooking. I created the menu and he helped with the cooking. We cooked chicken alfredo, mashed potato, fried chicken, nachos, panna cotta, ham, etc. The best part is sharing one table with our family and the newest member, little Akiko Savannah. She made our Christmas more special.

The next day, 25th, was our family's annual reunion/christmas party and as always we all had a blast laughing and playing games. My cousins spent the night in our house just like the old days when they used to spend the summer with us. Funny thing though that we (6 big persons) slept in one room, despite having 3 spare rooms, and kwentuhan til we fell asleep. This is how our parents brought us up because that's how they grew up. They wanted us to be closer and treat one another as sibs. I love them like my own brothers and sisters! Oh how I miss being young.

Christmas is about family. Need I to say more?